This week, after WBAP’s poor judgment in sticking with me despite a ridiculously long amount of time, I returned to work. It feels amazing to return to my “normal life.” Except I can’t walk properly right now because I have what a friend accurately, I feel, described as a superhuman ability to grow bones and my hip bone still needs to be shaved down.Also, I’m terrified because there’s not a team of doctors and nurses constantly watching me anymore. Actually, though, I was probably behaving in such a way that I could have used that long before the crash, too.
It’s great to get back to work. After I finished at therapy about a week ago, I had a lot of free time. One day was productive enough: I sat down and did my taxes.
But I also became furious with myself. Why did I have to get into a car crash that caused me to lose my mind at Christmas? Right in the fun part of the year. And then I got it back just in time for tax season, so I was perfectly able to pay my own taxes. I’m a fool!
However, I was happy that my memory had made quite a bit of progress. When I logged into the tax program, the security question I’d set last year was “Who was your third grade teacher?” Immediately, Mrs. Borchers came to mind. Score one for Scaia!
Outside of the taxes, I was watching a lot of television to give me something to do. And I think I proved that the year really is 1996, and you have all been lying to me!
How am I not supposed to think it’s 1996?! I mean, Coach is on TV. And the X-Files. Around the same time, I saw an email from Netflix saying that Friends was now available. Come on, people. I’m sure I wasn’t watching too much TV last week, and television wouldn’t lie to me.
I also noticed there’s a cable channel that shows reruns of the 1990s show Quantum Leap during the day. I watched an episode of it one afternoon and thought, quite reasonably, “Maybe THAT’S what happened! I don’t remember those three months after the crash because Sam Beckett leapt into my body and I was in the waiting room at the time.”
Also, the intro at the opening credits struck me as troubling: “Sam Beckett leapt from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong.” What the hell did I do wrong?! I thought I had a pretty good life!
Again, I want to thank everyone who helped me get back to this point, even though you’re all surely now thinking that you could have helped someone who has more to contribute to society than a recap of Quantum Leapreruns. My mom is sending Ohio-based chocolates for me to give the various staffs who stuck with me. I’m terrified, though, to go back to JPS out of fear that I’ll cause nurses and therapists to have flashbacks to the height of my craziness. They’ll see me and collapse on the ground in the fetal position. It’s the only outcome that makes sense!
